3 Critical Steps To A Healthy Dating Life
Many experts agree that dating is an important part of a relationship for two people. Most would recommend that couples find time to continue dating. Marriage counselors will recommend husband and wife to return to the dating scene, having time together alone is important in maintaining good relationship. Just because you have been together for years, does not mean that you no longer need romance. Many long term marriages are thanks to couple’s commitment in having dates together. Here are three critical steps to a healthy dating life, they might be basic, they work well.
Having a healthy dating life keeps the romance alive, because you can still learn a lot about each other. People change all the time, so going on a date can help couples reacquaint and keep in touch with each other’s interest and changes. Despite having kids, or having to return to the dating scene after a divorce, these three steps remain critical to have a healthy dating life. If going on dates frequently is a nightmare for you, try these three dating tips, they might help.
1. Address Issues Openly
As an individual of a relationship, you should realize your own vulnerabilities and needs. A healthy relationship is one where couples fulfill each other’s needs, and offer support when needed. No one is perfect in a relationship, and that means that both sides of the relationship have equal say. For a healthy dating life, there should be times where you talk about all the issues you have.
It might be better for both parties to set out some ground rules before addressing problems out in the open. Agreeing that issues are not causes for arguments, or setting time to discuss problems until after a date are good ideas to implement. Other suggestions include realizing that not all issues can be solved, and understanding that sometimes your partner just need to share feelings.
Rather than trying to constantly trying to fix your partner’s problem, it might be better to step back and share the feelings and thoughts. During a date, try to be positive and avoid saying negative things. You can offer your help when your partner is talking about the problems, but do not force the issue of help if refused.
Another way to use dating time to address issues is team building exercises. Working out problems, or doing exercises together during a date can help you work together in a different way. At certain point in life, dating is not just about coffee, movie and chocolates. It can be about supporting each other’s imperfection to form a perfect union.
2. Change Yourself Not Others
The main difference between men and women, are the fact that women tend to want to change men. Men are happy to keep things the same. But women frequently try to change people to suit their needs. A lot of relationships fail when women try to change their men; or men realizing that the women had changed. While you should understand that change is the only constant in life, trying to force people to change may cause friction and resentment. Many relationships fall apart because partners are being forced to conform to expectations.
Instead of expecting people to change, make yourself better. For example, instead of trying to expect your spouse to learn how to be more considerate to you, you can take lead. When your partner sees that you are changing yourself to make them happy, they might reciprocate and learn to look after you better too.
Of course, changing yourself does not mean accepting that your partner is always right, or that you have to adapt to abusive partners. It is about understanding your own weakness and becoming better, and growing to become a person whom you want your partner to be. Positive changes like looking after the kids voluntarily, or learning how to cook are helpful to the relationship. While cutting off contact with the world, putting your partner on the pedestal are examples of negative changes that should be avoided.
If you find that you are changing yourself for the worse, then you should seek professional help. Changing yourself for a healthy dating life is about making yourself a better person to support your partner. It is not about adapting to your partner’s expectations while neglecting your own. A healthy relationship means that both sides benefit from each other, not one side becomes stronger than the other.
3. Keep It Simple
Dating life can be simple, because you keep it so. You can keep a jar of dating ideas that you enjoy regularly, and pick out one randomly when you need a new idea. Life can be busy, and trying to think of new and wonderful ways to go on a date can be daunting, sometimes it may lead to a reluctance. If you keep things simple, dating can be a joyful time.
Apart of keeping a list of your favorite dates, you can also think about new dating ideas that are simple. A healthy dating life does not mean that you will always have exciting dates to enjoy, or have a long day. Even an hour of shopping date can be meaningful if you use the time together wisely.
Enjoying time together as a couple is the main agenda of going on a date, hence it does not have to be a big event. As long as you both enjoy each other’s company, that is a success. Sharing good times together can rejuvenate couples emotionally and mentally, so that the relationship stays strong. If you severely lack time, even a short date together, like having lunch as a couple, will benefit. Dating each other may sound excessive or unnecessary, but it is the time your spend in each other’s company that helps strengthen the bond.
If you are committed to maintaining a relationship, you will be less surprised when it starting to break. Dating is like a tool you use to recognize cracks in your partnership and repair the issues immediately. Ignoring the problem does not make it go away, it can worsen the issue. No wonder those who no longer date after marriage are more likely to end up in divorce. You can always learn more about each other when you go on dates, it is like knowing your partner all over again. Some people take the time to share their thoughts and feelings, otherwise they might not have another chance. Clear the air and renewing understanding of situations can be helpful, because then you know where you both stand in many areas.
A healthy dating life is not just for unmarried couples, they are for relationships of all shapes and sizes. Even when you are old and have been together for decades, you can still benefit from these three critical steps to a healthy dating life. If you are inventing excuses to not have a date, remember that children will leave the nest when they grow up, but your partner will stay by your side. A healthy relationship needs a lot of work. And, if you and your partner have a healthy dating life, it is easier to maintain the love you have for each other.